I AM THE FACE OF SELF ESTEEM ELEVATED
A very near and dear guy friend asked me this question… Are you REALLY Self Esteem Elevated? Without hesitation I said…absolutely YES! How can I answer that question with such bold confidence and strong conviction? Because I have lived my entire life for that very moment when I could day YES! with out a shadow of doubt.
As women we deal with self esteem issues, self worth and self identity issues every single day. The world and the media no doubt keep false images of true beauty constantly in our face. We have a million and one reasons to not feel good about who we are. However, we should wake up each morning with the notion that we are MORE than Enough!
Men don’t think you get off so easy yourselves. I always say men have self esteem issues as well. It’s wrapped up in a word called “EGO”. If bruised or touched it becomes as fragile as an egg.
For years, I put up a facade that I was this strong, bold, and confident woman…in some areas of my life that RANG true and VERY LOUD. Especially in the professional arena. However, in relationships I just never felt good enough, pretty enough or smart enough. So I developed this outlook of…‘What did I need a man for?” I had all I needed in life (or so I thought). Where did this root come from? It came from years of men telling me who I wasn’t so that they could feel cool and confident about themselves. It took a Damascus experience with God and post partum depression to help me see me. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t nice and it surely wasn’t without a painful journey experience to the truth. It was during this journey that I found out “who I am” and “whose I am”.
The truth serum had to be poured into me to be so open. God took me on this journey over 14 years ago. I remember laying on the floor in the middle of my living room and crying out to God…to take my life. I didnt want to live anymore. The depression was overwhelming and life was just too challenging to bear anymore. Not to add three children, a brand new business, limited funds, and no support system to help me reach my destiny. However, God knew my journey had to real and relevant in order to help someone else. The Real Me had to be exposed. The next morning when I woke up I was first angry with God for not taking me and then finally as I got up from the cold hard floor these words came out of my mouth…”God then deliver me from me and use me for your glory.”
My journey towards my healing began that day. God saw me broken on the inside that was screaming on the outside. I had a wall up and didnt want to let anyone in to love me because that was just too painful to see that I was worth being loved. In the course of the healing process, I had to shed some self image issues by quoting each and every day “ I am fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalms 139:14. To get through life’s issues I quote Romans 8:37 “ I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus who loves me.” When finances got tight I had to remind myself that Psalms 37:25 says “I have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor a seed begging for bread.” When life just gets way too overwhelming and I can’t see the way that is dancing on my self worth I quote Phillipians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” The lies in my head that was telling me that I was not worth anything inside and out started slowly dissipating.(Remember healing is a process ALWAYS!) I always remember Philipians 4:11 I I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”
I stopped letting people that didn’t like me define me. I stopped letting other people’s insecurities block me from my destiny. I stopped comparing myself to others and their lives and looking at mine as unimportant. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started loving myself. I forgave myself for my past (good, bad, ugly and indifferent)…The more I did it the more I fell in love with me. The more the issues dropped one by one. That is how today I am able to confidently and boldy admit…I AM THE FACE OF SELF ESTEEM ELEVATED!!!